On Sunday, in the UK, it was Mother’s day or Mothering Sunday. Now lots of people have mixed feelings about this day. Is it just commercialism gone mad as flowers, meals out, cushions and candle prices are hiked up. Should we spend Millions celebrating our mum for one day or should we be spoiling our mums all year round and showing them appreciation? Should we buy gifts for partners when they are not our mother’s but have mothered children? Or should we spend as much as we can and do as much as we can to make our mum’s feel special?
I remember in my late twenties my burning desire to become a mum became overwhelming, with all my friends having babies I was ready to have one too. I remember Mother’s Day became an almost painful experience, seeing women with prams used to fill me up with tears. But at the time I was not in the right relationship or circumstance to have a child. Now in My forties and not quite in enough of a relationship for my partner to take my children shopping, Mother’s day is as much about my kids as it is about me. My daughter (ever the organiser) was so excited to take her money shopping to buy me gifts, my son (the sensitive one), looked at me as I perused Mother’s day tat, working out meticulously which gifts I would like more and my little boy (lazy but definitely a pleaser) was desperate to find things which make me happy. My daughter got up and laid the table on Sunday for my mum and I and made my new boyfriend write a card for me, which she had chosen from my box of spares. And as my mum and I opened our presents with happy faces and appreciation, you could see the children filling with glee, as they had done it all right.
We spent the rest of the day on the beach, had fish and chips for lunch and the children ran and played. Mother’s day for my mum and I was as much about making the children happy as it was about our happiness and above all it was a family day.
I get that people rave on about the commercialisation, I get that people get upset by the hype and I understand those who find it difficult for various reasons. But for some, Mother’s day is one of the few days of the year they will spend together as a family, with distance, busy lives, jobs and other commitments in the way, we really on technology for human contact more and more and see each other less and less. Often visits have to be planned around work days, parental contact arrangements and family commitments and for some this day may be the opportunity they get to spoil mum or nan.
So for all of you Mum’s and Nan’s and great nan’s, for all the step mum’s (because I so know how hard your job is), for all the pet mum’s and for all the dad’s who are being mum and dad, Foster mum’s and god parents, I hope you had the most wonderful day. I hope your gifts (although they maybe tacky) will be cherished, that your cards will be kept with a million other cards, that the meticulously made daffodil card your little boy or girl made you at school is your prize possession and I hope you know how much those little or big eyes that look up to you, love you and underneath the backchat, stropping and sulking, appreciate everything you do.